Moments

How can I feel this moment….I just close my eyes….I listen to the sound….feel all that I want….feel this moment….this pleasant moment….I want to scream…I want to jump….I want to have fun….I want to dance the all night….I want to talk (amazingly it is true!) till the moment someone tells me to shut my mouth down! Why am I writing all these things???!!!
Music is something spiritual, is part of the body, of our soul. Through music we feel free. I never thought I get to this point I my life…emotions run like a town….I don’t know if something would ever return…but I am the one who will decide if something will return or not….a few things happen because we make them happen….
I don’t want some things to be repeated….I prefer to have them in my memory…I don’t know quite sure why…but I prefer things this way….
Getting this point in my life….when all that I want is to absorb everything around me….getting absorbed by what surrounds me….going with the wind…tasting the wind and all of its advantages and disadvantages….
I perceive disadvantages as those unexpected things with which I don’t know how to deal….but they teach me so much, that I am not even able to say that I don’t want them…
Obviously I am happy for being alive…for being inconsistent, but sometimes I would like to make my thoughts come true….and I am referring to the sentence where I say I want to talk…so many times I want…but I feel I am not able…it seems I have glue on my lips…and they do not move the way I want. I think this is probably one of my ghosts (I know sometimes I am the one who does not want to speak…but sometimes when I want to do it I feel I am not able….a punishment probably!). Something for my mind, my body, and my soul…. it’s the power around curiosity….the purpose…my journey of force….with no limits or boundaries….that’s what I want to reach…the point of greatest intensity…pleasures of the highest senses….feelings of security….sensations wanted and unwanted….
For those who know me this seems senseless because I look like a very peaceful girl…who does not want movement…who does not want to be shaken…but that’s not true….I just don’t show exactly the way I am….sometimes I want this…but than I want it differently….inconsistency at the highest level…sometimes it is good, but not all the time….sometimes I hurt myself for being this way….I know which are my goals….what I change are the paths to attain them….that’s where my inconsistency appears….I fight for what I want, but not always it seems I am doing it.

Egomet