Crestfallen

I wish I could move more...all the times I desired....
Forgot about where did I came from
Forgot about where I am going to
Lost my past strengths
Lost my present strengths
But I still moving…breathing….smelling…seeing…listening…
And I can recover everything…I can rehearse from my memory all those things I learnt
And all alone I know I will be able to do this….I am able to forget all my fears…all my inhibitions…and I will do my best to keep breathing happily.
I will get free of my fears…Oh yeh…I will….I deeply believe in it….And why?? Because now I want to move them away…some years ago I did not want…I didn’t want to move…I wanted to stand still….no risks…all the time the simplest path….But now I refuse this. I want to step out the easiest and simplest path…I want to go to a higher and difficult one….to fight against myself…I believe it has been a nice battle…during which I need to talk with my ideas, perceptions, misconceptions, misunderstandings, fears, inhibitions. This battle started almost two years ago…and it has been working for me…at least most of the times. Obviously there are not only advantages, I have been facing a few disadvantages….which I prefer not to name…so many things forgotten… not considered important for me, yes…only for me, because for most people they are important. I am being as honest as possible with myself admitting that not all the time I had the right decisions…behaviours…thoughts. And I am truly happy for being able to do this with a smile in my face, and not with lots of tears running my face.

Egomet