Perfect

I wonder many times who am I, what is my life, how many chances will I have to fulfil all I want, who do I need to fulfuill my wishes, where do I belong, what are my memories for, why I do not loose faith. These are simple questions without clear answers, or simply without answers. But I don’t mind because they are one the things which rule me. Why are things the way they are?!...

“(…) What if the sun refused to shine?
What if the clouds refused to rain?
What if the wind refused to blow?
What if the seas refused to wave?
What if the world refused its turn?
What if the stars would hesitate?(…)”

“Apples + Oranges” performed by The Smashing Pumpkins in the album Adore

Things change, but most of the times we do not realize it, we change and sometimes we do not admit it…What rules our choices? Sometimes I feel that what is isn’t true, and I don’t know what to do, what to think, how to behave, how to control myself in order to do not make stupid and irrational things, why I do not abolish my superego more often (sometimes it ruins everything!!!). I like to be the way I am, but there are things I wouldn't mind to change a bit. Are these “The thoughts” we “cannot lose?”. Where are my restful pillars? I don’t know but when I less expect I find them, and this makes me float, feel nice feelings…
Oh…how I wish the impossible to become possible, but wishing is not enough, we must feel it deeply, intensely…”Verba me defeciunt”….if I know someday how to explain what I am thinking I will do it, but by now I feel I am not able.

Egomet